If At First You Don't Succeed..

After a very sleepless night, the hospital room doors opened bright and early at 4am. The nurse on duty removed the cervidil and I was allowed to shower. Thank God they let you do this... I rushed the shower and gave myself enough time to do hair and makeup as well. This should shock no one.

And so the timeline begins:
5am - pitocin on board again. Hopefully we will have better outcome this time. I am dilated to a solid 1cm and maybe a pinch more.

7am -  contractions are starting. They are super manageable, but definitely more apparent this time around.

9am - I AM PROGRESSING! Dilated to 4cm. Contractions are definitely felt and uncomfortable.

10am - bring on the drugs. Biji was a huge help in making the epidural a non-event. I don't really know what I was expecting, but it really was not bad at all... and then sweet relief.

10:30am - grandparents arrive for day 2 duties. Ice chips, entertainment and popcicles.

11am - dr. check in. Still progressing. We will have a baby today. Very surreal.

12pm - everyone enjoys lunch again... I eat ice chips. Goodie.

1pm - My dr. arrived and broke my water with this thing that looked like a giant crochet hook.

2pm - starting to feel some real pain again through the epidural. I was given some additional pain meds.

3pm - 8cm! Wow, that went so fast. Biji opened this cabinet and pulled out all the tools. I lost it. I had held it together for 2 days and it just became to real. I hid under the blankets and burst into tears. Was I really ready for this? How the hell are we going to do this?

3:30pm - time to start pushing. Zach went out to tell everyone that we were getting started. Biji and I did a few practice pushes until he got back. Once he was back in the room it was time to really take a go at it. I pushed once and thought to myself, this is happening. I pushed a second time and then a third. Biji kept looking at the monitor and Zach was watching her like a hawk.

Biji brought me some oxygen and said that it was just to help the baby. Things starting moving very quickly in my head at this point. She said stop pushing. Laid me back and put a washcloth on my head. She said that the baby's heart rate was getting too high when I push. Zach would read out the numbers 180... I knew that was high. I learned later that she really got up to 220.

Dr. Petrovski arrived and she took a look at what we were dealing with. Apparently Dylan was still face down, but she was not tucked she was looking up, causing her to get hung up on my pelvis. She had even developed a caput (a bump on her head from my pelvis). She was not coming out naturally. C-section it is.

I actually took the news surprisingly well. A few tears came out, but Zach quickly wiped them away. I gave a thumbs up and we moved on. Zach texted the news to the grandparents and in the blink of an eye, I was wheeled to the operating room.

At this point, I was shaking uncontrollably. I was told this is normal, but I could not stop. Even on the table my upper body was in a full-out convulsion. I was given something to help relax me. It didn't. Zach was able to watch the surgery and try to keep me calm. When they tell you you will feel pressure, they are not lying. There was an immense pressure and tugging and pushing and moving and all that... everyone thought I was in pain from my face, but it was just the pressure. Within a few minutes Zach was given the heads up that his photography duties were almost needed.

4:41pm - Dylan has arrived. She is quickly moved behind me to the baby station and then I got to hear her cry for the first time. As soon as she was out Zach was on his feet and capturing the moments since I was barely able to even turn my head around that far to see her. He accompanied Dylan to the recovery room and waited the 40 minutes for me to get patched back up.

Some time after 5 - I was wheeled back into the recovery room where I saw my husband, a new daddy, just rocking his baby girl waiting for me. He didn't even let family in until I was able to hold her for myself. Once all my wires were moved over to the bed, I was handed my baby girl. She was perfect. Not squishy, not alien, perfect. Biji helped me position her to attempt nursing. She latched right on. I had no idea what I was doing as a mom, but she knew exactly what to do as a baby. Now, later I learned (from the giant scab) that she wasn't latched correctly, but who cares. I have a baby,

Sometime after 6 - proud grandparents (sans Papaw since he had to get my dog meds) made their way into the room. I was kind of out of it and still shaking, but overall in good health.

Now it was time to say goodbye to Biji, as we were being moved into our post-partum room upstairs.
We all crammed into the elevator and on we went.

I was given a liquid dinner, the grandparents left and now we were completely responsible for the care of a baby. Just like that.

It's Go Time... Maybe

With each Dr. appointment I have been getting more and more anxious. She is measuring 7 lbs already and we are still 2 weeks out from the real due/induction date. That means that she could be one big baby by the time it rolls around. Because of this, Dr. Petrovski upped my due date by a week. Holy crap. That is 7 less days that I have to prepare/obsess over the arrival of our daughter. 7 less days to clean, 7 less days to train an intern to take over at work. 7 less days of pants not fitting, 7 less days of heartburn and 7 less days of other pregnancy unpleasantness.

New Due Date: 7/30 -- Our anniversary.

I worked my last day from home on Monday before "checking in" at the hospital that night. Zach and I packed up the car and took off for the biggest adventure of our lives. After our pit stop to McDonalds, we walked into the Labor and Delivery wing and would not walk out the same.

If you don't want TMI, proceed to the next post. If you want the truth of the process, read on.

That evening I was getting "prepped" (given Cervidil) for induction. This was not super fun. Basically they shove a chemical tampon behind my cervix. Behind it. How is that even possible?!?! I don't know who was more traumatized by this, Zach or myself. It hurt. A lot. So then you have to sit still forever and hope that it doesn't come out in your sleep. Sleeping in a hospital was new to me, luckily the Ambien helped and I was able to get some sleep. I knew the next day would be an exhausting one. My AMAZING, yes amazing, nurse Biji headed home and I was happy that she would be back the next day.

5am came really fast and apparently I told the morning nurse that she was mean the way she just walked in and flipped all the lights on. I have a feeling that was the Ambien talking. :)
The cervidil was removed and I was still around 1cm dialated. Ouch. I think that this hurts more than most of this labor business.

7am - Bring on the pitocin.

8am- parents arrive for the big day. I was apparently starting to have some contractions, but could not feel too many of them. Very mild.

9am - still progressing on contractions, and Biji continues to up the dosage to move me more along. Still only 1 cm dialated.

10am - still not feeling much. Biji thinks it is funny that I am still smiling... she gives me more pitocin to wipe that smile off my face.

11am - Joe sneaks me a popcicle. Ice chips aren't doing anything to lessen my hunger.

12pm - everyone gets lunch. I eat ice chips. Still not really dilating. Very minor contractions. Biji has be maxed out on pitocin. She doesn't think it is working on me.

1pm - more of the same. Dr. calls to check. Not time for baby yet.

2pm - Starving. Daytime TV sucks. Trying to sleep. Come on baby.

3pm - more of the same.

4pm - doesn't look like the induction has taken. Now we are talking about options... Re-do cervidil and try again tomorrow... or go home. I am not leaving.

5pm - Pitocin has stopped for the day. Now I can eat.

6pm - Zach and I share our anniversary in a hospital room. So romantic. The hospital did send up some awesome desserts to help us celebrate. That was pretty awesome. We walked some laps and then went back to the room.

7pm - Cervidil back on board. Double ouch this time. Apparently there is much more sensitivity the second day in a row.

8pm - 3am - Trying to sleep. Isn't working.

On to labor day 2...

Showers!

I was blessed to have 2 showers for sweet Miss Dylan. One of my best friends, Anna, threw a great friends/couples shower. Everyone got to decorate their own onezie for the baby... and this was quite amusing.  Anna had quite the spread of food, which was expected. She is qite gifted in the kitchen. Everyone was very appreciative as were we. One super cool thing that we didn't expect was that each person brought their favorite childhood book. Some even sent her a note on the inside. It was a very special thing to do. Once we were finished with the shower, we headed over to Peter's place where we spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool.

Later in July, my sister-in-law and cousin threw me an amazing shower. It was beyond beautiful and I am so thankful! Here are some pics from the day:

 I am so grateful for everyone that came out and helped to welcome Dylan into the world. We are very lucky indeed.

Quite the Weekend

Zach is no longer allowed to travel. Period. It seems that only when he travels does something catastrophic happen with the dogs. This OVERNIGHT trip was no exception. Thursday night, my dog Jackson suffered 5-6 seizures. It was a long night at the ER vet and the next day waiting for the call that I didn't want to get as he was "under observation" at my regular vet. Since all of his blood work came back as normal, it is most likely a brain tumor. Since he is nearly 12 years old, we elected to not have all the scans done to confirm since we would not be operating or putting him through any strenuous surgeries at his age.

He is now on anti-seizure medication now for life. A small price to pay to keep our sweet boy comfortable for the rest of his long life. See, we have an agreement. It will be a long life. :)

Floating Away

Last week during my regular sonogram and checkup it was discovered that my amniotic fluids were way too low. Up until this point everything had been fine to my knowledge, so this came as quite a shock. Unfortunately Zach was not able to join me at my appointment, so I was trying not to freak out while obtaining all the information they were giving me. I was at a 7.9cm, they hospitalize at 7.4cm for IV fluids. I also learned that her belly was measuring a bit behind, but that wasn't concerning to anyone but me apparently. I was instructed to take it easy (no workouts) until I come back in a few days later. Oh, and drink as much water as the human body can hold. I left in a mild fog and walked to the car to call Zach. He answered, I fell apart. I explained everything to him and we decided to meet for dinner. I was treated to some amazing pizza and water. He was actually quite adorable about it. I was not allowed out of reach of a glass of water. Ever.

The next 2 days crept by. I drank no less than 90oz of water a day. I have never spent more time in the bathroom in my entire life. There were several times that I was not even sure I would make it. Especially when she would be playing Headbangers Ball on my bladder. Sometimes standing completely upright was a challenge without springing a leak.

Come Friday morning, my body was so full of water there was no way that I could not have corrected the problem. Unless it was a bigger problem. Zach made any and all arrangements to make sure he could go with me. All the water paid off. Levels were up to 12.7cm. Back in the normal range. As a follow-up precaution, I also got hooked up to all kinds of monitors for a non-stress test. We sat in a quiet room for 20 minutes and listened to her heartbeat. I think I dozed off for a minute while Zach patiently played Candy Crush. Everything was perfect and back on track.

So, the moral of the story... I have to keep up with the water intake. Goodness... I need to engrave my name on bathroom stall.

Full Moon?

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like the world is out to get you? Yeah, that was today. Starting with last night, sleeping just isn't easy anymore. Even though I am beyond tired, sleeping just doesn't come easy. I am sure part of it is that Zach is out of town. That always makes it difficult to completely relax. I blame Criminal Minds. Last night I decided to take half a dose of Tylenol PM around midnight in hopes it would calm my restless legs and let me get to sleep. It worked! Then the storms began... 4am. Perfect. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a calm person during storms. So there I was, half drowsy and half alert and waiting for tornadoes. I managed to fall back asleep (thank you Tylenol PM!) until you would have thought the world came to an end. Around 6am I was awoken by a quiet chirp followed by the sound of everything electronic in my house stop. The fan spun to a calm end and I was finally coherent enough to realize that we had lost power. Good luck getting back to sleep with 2 freaked out dogs literally trying to crawl into my skin.

I immediately texted Oncor. Yes, you can actually do that now... text the power company that you have no power. Genious. "Estimated time of restored power - 10:30am". I am sorry, what? Eff this. I laid in bed and tried to think of how I was going to pull this off. The office has a gym with showers, blow dryers and all that... but did they have power? What would I do if I assumed they did and got there to find the same problem. Wait, Kristin, you have a gas water heater. Boom. Shower here, dry hair there or in the car on the way there. Ok, we can make this work.

It stormed solid until 7 when I pulled my ass out of bed. I dunked my head in the bathtub and washed the hair. Since it was still storming, it was as dark as night. I did minimal makeup by candlelight and got dressed. Can I tell you how hot it is to get ready without a fan blowing on me. Ugh. Wait... we have no power... how am I going to get the car out of the garage. There is a rescue cord. All have a rescue cord. Ok. Now picture this... a 7 month pregnant woman, hair in a towel, makeup looking probably like Mimi, trying to wrestle a step stool in between two tightly fitting cars to get up to see what is going on with the garage door power box because THERE IS NO CORD!!!

In-laws to the rescue. While up on the ladder, flashlight in hand, cell phone on speaker they walked me through where the cord should be... not where I was looking. "Follow the track all the way to the door" said Joe... shit, there is the cord. I AM AN IDIOT! Pull the cord, and throw that bitch up.

Done, I headed back inside and try to finish getting ready. Chirp... and we have power. Literally 5 minutes after the garage debacle. Hey, at least I can blow dry my hair now. What a fun morning!

The day stayed that way even at work. Fire after fire after fire had to be put out. There didn't seem to be a calm moment in the day. People's poor planning all over the place resulting in me having to rescue them all. Over it. Not only that, other peoples lack of caring for the workload they are placing on me as they clear it off their plate was just icing on the cake.

I need to ctrl+alt+delete the day. So how does one do that? Come home, put on sweats, eat cereal, have a coke and watch Lifetime until I fall asleep. Doesn't the house need to be cleaned? Yup. Do I care tonight? No.

"Halleluah! Holy Shit! Where's the Tylenol".

Mini Meltdown

As the day gets closer and closer I am sure this will get much more frequent, but today I had my first meltdown. Zach and I were in the nursery looking at the closet for ways to add shelving and all that. I sat down on the rocking chair and Zach teased that in 8 weeks we would have a baby. I LOST IT.

What if I am not good at being a mom? What if I can't do it? What if I don't know what I am doing? How are we going to do this?  Zach just let me cry it out and reassured me that I would be ok, everything will be ok. He also asked if he could video tape me. He thinks it is just adorable and mostly hilarious when I get like this.

The tired is creeping back in. I find myself fading fast after lunch and then ready for bed at 9pm. Of course, even though I am exhausted, finding sleep to be solid and effective is difficult. I often have twitchy legs, not to mention the fact that I have to pee at least 3-4 times a night. I know that this is extremely good prep. Luckily, for now, I get to go back to sleep. This will not be a case when I have a baby girl to feed.

The Real Countdown Begins

30 weeks and counting. 10 weeks to go. This is insane. How on earth are we going to do this?

We had our hospital tour the other day and that made everything all too real. I saw the room that I will deliver in, and how the bed breaks apart to allow for pushing. Pushing... wait, what? This baby actually has to come out?  I don't want to think about that. At all.

We had that talk at the doctors office. And I don't mean to upset anyone, but I plan on having an epidural. There, I said it. I have no interest in trying to prove anything by not taking advantage of medical advancements. My doctor reassured me that there is really no risk associated with it and that she fully supported my decision. Of course, if things don't happen that way, then I will deal with it. I know that I am a strong person and I can manage in any situation. I just don't feel the need to go through all that pain if I don't have to.

We are still planning on the August 5 due date. If things have not progressed on their own by then, I will be admitted on the 5th and have her on the 6th. So strange to think about it. Each time I am there, she asks me how things have been going. i really cannot complain one bit about pregnancy. Sure there are some very rough nights when I might strangle a kitten for a solid night's sleep, or to not have restless legs. And the heartburn is back WITH A VENGENCE. But overall, I am so lucky to not be going through what I read about online. My doctor said that she can usually tell if a mom will want her baby out a week early by how she is at her 32 week visit. That is just next week. I can't imagine being miserable in that much time, but what do I know. I am doing this for the first time. What I don't want to imagine is how hot it is going to be come August. It was 90 today. Lord help me.

Mothers Day

I guess I can officially celebrate this holiday now. So surreal. Everyone around me has been so good to me. My boss got me a "Mom" cookie, I got cards, people wishing me a happy mother's day. It was an oddly emotional day for me. I mean, I always knew I was born to be a mom, but never expected the feeling to be so wonderful What is it going to be like when she actually gets here? I literally cry at commercials about babies.

I am so blessed for the mothers in my life. I cannot imagine how I can even begin to live up the legacy they have both set. Big shoes to fill.

I am also blessed with a wonderful husband. He woke up, got me doughnuts, hung the curtains in the nursery, and told me what my gift is. Maid service! He has arranged for a maid service to come out at the end of July to deep clean my house in prep for baby. He really is incredible.

My most recent doctor's appointment went well. She is nearly 3 lbs and is right on track. My doc calls her an overachiever. She is already head down. I can feel her all the time. It is startling sometimes when she really gets moving, but is so reassuring at the same time. Sometimes I look down and expect to see an alien pop out of my stomach with her erratic movements.

Sadly, she has stage fright. It seems that any time anyone tries to touch her, she freezes up. It is frustrating to some, even Zach. It seems like she can sense when it isn't me touching her and she stops. There was one night that Zach felt one of her fits at bedtime and he was like, "what is she doing in there?!?!". My dad thinks she is practicing her leaps for when she comes out. I am supposed to start counting her movements each evening. And like the doc says, she is an overachiever.

Parents in Town

I am so excited! My parents came into town for a long weekend to see me and the bump. I hadn't seen them since Christmas, so they were overly excited to see the progress we had made and help around the house as much as they could. Their weekend was full of painting, repairing, shopping, registering and eating. Lots of eating. My in-laws were able to come and help too. I don't know what  I would do without them!

The boys golfed and the women registered! What a fun weekend.
I can't wait for them to come back for the shower!

Taking the bump to the Arboretum.

 

Painting the nursery.

 Fixing the toilet - glamorous work!

Registering!

 
Family Shot!

 

Really starting to poke out.

27 weeks. Not long now!

More Nursery Updates

Crib is in! And we love it. We also selected a rocking chair from Ikea. It is really coming together now. I also got bold and decided to make some accent pillows for the room. Out final colors are grey, pink and navy blue. Take a look at the new additions.

Tucker wanted to help out. 

 

Crib and Rocking Chair

New ceiling fan and accent pillows.

 I still have plans to make a mobile as well as some letters to hang her name over the crib... whatever that name may be. ;)

Just in time for my parents to come and visit! Can't wait!

Baby Thumping

23 weeks now and baby girl is letting her Daddy know she loves him. I was just sitting on the couch and she was kicking like crazy. I called Zach over and he knelt down next to the couch and he placed his hand on my stretching belly. BOOM. Kick. He looked at me with huge eyes. He finally felt her move. It was a cool moment to be able to share with him what I feel all the time.

 

All my appointments are going well. She is growing like crazy and looks like a real baby.

We bought the dresser from the last post and are very happy with it. Even though it is Ikea, it seems to be great quality. We also selected a crib from, wait for it, Walmart. It had great reviews and was a good price,

Check out the progress. More to come!

20 Weeks

Time flies. How on earth am I half way there? Despite popular opinion, I can feel her move. I missed out on the bubbly flutters and went straight to the thumping and bumping. There was the daily confirmation I need to know she is all good in there. Everyone keeps saying that I am tiny for 20 weeks. I am perfectly ok with that. I am not trying to be a Kim Kardashian. Have you seen her? She is insanely big... definitely inspiration to stay in that gym as long as I can!

The nursery is underway. We want to keep it very simple. Of course I have been scouring Pinterest in hope of some inspiration. We love the idea of grey and pink. Here are some of the ones that we are gravitating toward.

16 weeks

By this point, I had a baby bump. It was small, but I was embracing it. My boobs were HUGE! I was starting to get past the tiredness, at least to the extent it was earlier on in the pregnancy. I also had escaped the morning sickness. The closest I got was some nausea when I would get hungry.

I had decided early on that I would continue to exercise to the level that my body allowed. I was feeling good. My checkups were monthly now. And with each one I got to have a sonogram. This was due to the fibroids they saw during my 3d/4d scan. Oh darn, you mean I get to see my baby "girl" at each visit? Too bad.

During my 17 week visit, we were confirmed a girl. Let the nursery planning begin.

Cat Out of the Bag

Finally, the 13 week check up. This was a big one. We had all the blood testing and 3d/4d scan. During this visit, they take a ton of measurements to see what the risk of genetic abnormalities. We may also find out the gender.

I had an unusual amount of anxiety coming into this appointment. Like I said before, you don't really have any confirmations that you are still pregnant on a day-to-day basis. Each time I get squirted with the sonogram jelly I hold my breath. Just hoping that something with a heart beat pops up on the screen. Success!

What an insane view a 3d/4d scan is. You can see the baby moving. It is very life like. Surreal.
All of the measurements came back great and I had a very low risk for an abnormalities. They also had a gender guess. Girl! For a brief moment I was confused and a bit taken back. For some reason I really thought I was having a boy. But, come on, tutus and glitter. OK!

That evening I had a follow-up with my doctor and all went great with that too. I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I was going to be a mom.

Now, time to spread the word.
I came into the office that night after my doctor's appointment and told my boss. She was beyond excited! The next day I would tell my besties and my co-workers. It was such an amazing feeling to be able to share this joy with everyone. Even Zach was excited. I was called up to his desk numerous times so that we could tell people together. ll smiles all around.