As the day gets closer and closer I am sure this will get much more frequent, but today I had my first meltdown. Zach and I were in the nursery looking at the closet for ways to add shelving and all that. I sat down on the rocking chair and Zach teased that in 8 weeks we would have a baby. I LOST IT.
What if I am not good at being a mom? What if I can't do it? What if I don't know what I am doing? How are we going to do this? Zach just let me cry it out and reassured me that I would be ok, everything will be ok. He also asked if he could video tape me. He thinks it is just adorable and mostly hilarious when I get like this.
The tired is creeping back in. I find myself fading fast after lunch and then ready for bed at 9pm. Of course, even though I am exhausted, finding sleep to be solid and effective is difficult. I often have twitchy legs, not to mention the fact that I have to pee at least 3-4 times a night. I know that this is extremely good prep. Luckily, for now, I get to go back to sleep. This will not be a case when I have a baby girl to feed.
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